The feeling is unmistakable: the sudden racing of the heart, the shallow breath, or that subtle, persistent hum of “something is wrong” that follows you from the moment you wake up. Most of the time, we treat anxiety like a glitch in the system. We want to patch it, delete it, or ignore it until it goes away. We see it as the enemy of our peace. But what if we shifted our perspective?
In my practice at Inner Balance, I often invite people to look at anxiety not as the problem itself, but as a messenger. It is a smoke alarm. If the alarm is going off, we don’t get angry at the device; we look for the smoke.
The wisdom of the nervous system
To understand this, it helps to look at what is happening inside our bodies. I often mention Polyvagal Theory, which is a scientific way of saying that our nervous system is always scanning the environment for safety.
Anxiety is essentially your body’s “Mobilisation” response. Your system has detected a threat—not necessarily a physical one, like a predator, but perhaps a threat to your boundaries, your values, or your emotional safety. Your body is pumping you with energy because it wants to help you act.
When we say “I don’t know why I’m anxious,” it usually means the message hasn’t been translated yet. We feel the physiological surge (the messenger knocking on the door), but we haven’t opened the letter it’s carrying.
Decoding the message
If we stop fighting the feeling and start listening, we often find that anxiety is pointing toward an unmet need. It might be saying:
- “You’ve been saying ‘yes’ to others at the expense of yourself for too long.”
- “This environment doesn’t feel safe for your true self.”
- “There is an old memory here that hasn’t been processed yet.”
When we label ourselves as “anxious people,” we feel stuck. But when we see anxiety as a response to what we’ve lived or what we are currently facing, we move from “I don’t know what to do” to “I can listen to what I need.”
A moment to reconnect
The next time you feel that familiar tightness, I invite you to try a small experiment in self-validation. Instead of trying to push the feeling away, try to sit with it for just two minutes.
- Acknowledge the sensation: place a hand where you feel the anxiety (maybe your chest or stomach). Say to yourself, “I feel you there, and it’s okay that you’re here.”
- The compassionate question: ask your anxiety, as if it were a friend: “What are you trying to protect me from right now?” or “What is it you need me to know?”
- Breathe into the space: you don’t need an immediate answer. Simply by acknowledging the feeling without judgement, you are telling your nervous system that you are safe enough to listen.
You don’t have to decode it alone
Anxiety can feel loud and overwhelming, making it hard to hear the message clearly. Sometimes, we need a safe, quiet space to untangle those feelings and make sense of why our system has stayed “on high alert.”
If you feel like you’ve been running from the messenger for a while and you’re ready to start listening, I am here to accompany you. We can work together at your own pace to help you find your way back to balance.